Can I include recorded music on a podcast, or is there a copyright issue with that? How much would I have to pay for health insurance if I didn’t have my job? Am I saving enough for retirement? How does book publishing work, and would anyone actually be interested in my “essays”? What does music do in us? What does music do for a community? For an individual? When can I learn how to read poetry? Could I learn to sing? To conduct? To dance? To compose? How long can I really expect to be able to play the violin? What will happen to me once my body and mind become feeble? Once I don’t have parents or a husband or even a brother to help me? Once I lose my youthful verve? Where will I fit into this world when I am old? Can I still help people when I become weak? Does our house require a lot more maintenance than we are providing? Do we need to paint? What do we do with our old electronics? What exactly am I trying to prove/achieve/accomplish with everything I do? Am I capable of sitting still? Does doing stuff make me happy or sad? Does it make me happy and then sad, and is that cycle inevitable? Is it healthy? Is it natural? Am I a “good” person, or am I actually pretty bad? What is underneath my ability to be what society values? Am I doing way too much or not nearly enough, and according to whom? Is it possible to live a life inside of music but outside the music world?
a blog by Ellen
Yes
No
Maybe
In no particular order
What would happen if we knew the answers?
Would we be able to cope with that weight?
Would we be crushed to the floor?
Or
Would we grow strong and shrug it off?
Would we snuggle warm in the security of knowing?
If we knew those answers
If we knew
You are way overthinking! Relax and enjoy your beautiful life and unending creativity!
Love you, Ellen♥️
I just saw this and wanted to let you know something. Most brilliant and high level musicians have other hidden talents that bubble up after some years of being around great music ( in Orchestra, chamber music) I discovered I was a Conductor when someone presented an Orch for me to lead. ( a job teaching Middle School and High School Orchestra) My father was a Composer, professor, and administrator ( he was Dean of Music Department at University of Windsor, Canada). I always knew I was like him. He did many things , and was a leader . I really enjoy learning and being challenged. I would Conduct again or coach chamber music, because it helps me to share something special with young minds ( believe me , I wasn’t perfect) You just never know what you may be good at until you try. Also, I painted one Summer and discovered I was good at that – it was very therapeutic. At first, I wanted to be perfect, because that’s how my brain is with music, but then I realized it was okay to slowly get better. Writing is very cool, and if you love this, then yes, explore that. 😎